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November 27, 2020

RECONNECT SEXUALLY

There are many programs that are currently available online via Zoom since the COVID-19 epidemic. But the two programs that we suggested that can help people who are looking to rekindle their relationship in the bedroom. These programs are specially designed to help couples who still in love but lost the excitement and sexual connections with one another.

Reasons for not having sex

There are many reasons why couples lost the sexual connection in 2020. Here are a few reasons we will be discussing about in this article:

Technology

iPhone, iPad, Tablets and Streaming video service like Netflix is a huge interruption in our lives in 2020. Especially during the Covid-19 pandemic everyone is at home and we rely on these technologies to get us out of boredom and find normality in our lives.

Before the technology boom, people used to have sex at night when the lights are out. These days everyone is focusing on checking their Facebook, Instagram and watching Stan or Netflix. By the time we hit the bedroom everyone is tired, and our mind is buzzing with all the information the sexual part is no longer stimulated.


Life is so busy

With the raise in cost of living, everyone is starting to work 6 or 7days a week in 2020. Along with social media and working from home. We spend more time on Facebook and working then communicate with our partners. Communication is one of the main tools to sex. Without communication there is no sex.


Watch Too much porn

With NBN installed across every home in Australia. The internet fast and streaming videos online is easier than ever, you don’t need a computer to watch porn in 2022. Most smartphone now days can stream porn from anywhere.

Porn addiction is an epidemic around the world, many people prefer to watch porn then have sex with their partner.  With the raise in social media everyone is starting to live in this fantasy world of the internet. Solo sex with porn can become addictive.

Getting an orgasm from watching porn is easier and less work then trying to get sex from our partner. We don’t need to talk or communicate, there is no rejection and its quick so we can move on and do something else.

Bad Sexual Experience

There are many different bad experiences a man or woman have in the past might affect what they feel toward sex in the future. For example, if their partner never makes them orgasm or he finish in 2 minutes then she will not be into it that much the next time.

There are also cases where if sex it too painful then he or she will not be looking toward the next session. If you are experience pain during sex then read this article on how to deal with pain during sex.


Bored with sex

Sex can become a choir and very routine. Long term relationship couples get bored because it’s all the same. Same bedroom, same house, same location can get very boring after 10 or 15 years.

There are many ways you can spice up the sex life in your bedroom. Introducing Sex toys into your relationship is one of the most popular option, sex toy vibrators such as couples sex toys like the we vibe match or LELO Tian couples vibrator. If you are after something less expensive then the Couples play with me vibrating cock rings is a good start.

Sexual dysfunctions

Unable to get an erection, you might experience pain during intercourse and health reasons. Always check with your doctors if you have any concerns.

There are many options can help with this problem. Normally a penis pump and a cock rings will help or if you want something quick then herbal male enhancer erection pills will do the trick.

Click here to read our other articles on how to deal with sexual dysfunctions


Low self-esteem

If you have no confidence-don't like how you look and don't feel remotely desirable-you're unlikely to think of sex as a fun thing to do.


Depression or anxiety

Four million people in the UK, three million Australians and more than 35 million Americans are long-term users of antidepressants. What's a common side effect of taking these drugs? Low libido


Loss of desire

 Even if you love each other, even if you used to have good sex, desire for sex does fall the older we get. If you seriously don't think it's going to happen to you, it can come as quite a shock when it does.

Relationship problems

Sometimes its hard to believe that people who are in love, but their sex life is not alive. Many couples got together and maybe stay for the wrong reason. They always argue or angry at each other, when there are tensions in the relationship, there is no sex. This can become a habit over years.

Too much sex toys

Woman’s who used their vibrators or dildos regularly find that their urges for sexual intercourse with their male or same sex partner drop by 70%.

Men’s who used their male masturbators like a pocket pussy or the fleshlight stroker regularly find that their urges for sexual intercourse with their partner drop by 50%

There are research shows that once we reach orgasm regardless whether through masturbation using sex toys or just using our hands and finger. Our desire for intimacy drops dramatically.

Click here for a full range of the best seller sex toy vibrators online

Senate Focus Programs for couples

The Sensate Focus Program has been around forever. It was standard practice for couples who'd lost a sexual connection. It’s all about touch and being touched, it helps to build trust and intimacy back in couples both straight and gay relationships.

If I had a sex drought and wanted to break it, I'd be more likely to go away for the weekend, drink buckets of wine and just do it rather than lie around stroking. The sex would probably be both basic and awkward, but at least I'd have done it and broken the drought, and then we could both go from there, introducing some exciting new stuff that's a bit edgy later. For some couples, this may still be the best way to approach it.

For the mature audience they do have more patient, many will realise that focusing on the mechanics of sex and not enough on the emotional side doesn't always work. Resurrecting your sex life might not just be about giving lust. Lust needs couples to work long-term. It needs togetherness and closeness as companions.

Eroticism is an essential part of good sex, but you can't skip straight to that part-if you haven't been having regular sex-without re-laying the foundations. Right now, you're both vulnerable. The gentleness of these programs might be just what you need.

How to get aroused
The first thing to think about is to experience arousal for arousal's sake. Not to have sex.

Don't force it and be patient. Many couples assume that every time they get aroused, they must extinguish it with an orgasm-as if arousal was something irritating or unpleasant that must be got rid of right away. Instead, think arousal as something warm and nourishing. To let that feeling stay, live with it, before acting on it.

Here's how to do it.

Step one: Lie in bed and do nothing. Get naked if you'd like to, if not, don't. Talk. It can be about anything but keep it simple: just enjoy lying beside each other with no agenda.

Or just lie quietly and notice your breathing. You might like to stroke your partner's skin or your own. Keep the touching non-sexual at this point.

Do it for as long as you're enjoying it. 'You will feel awkward to start,' It’s OK. Just acknowledge it then let it go.

tep two: If you got aroused in step one, just enjoy the feeling.

Don't feel you have to do anything with it. 'Don't worry about arousal,

'Let your arousal take care of you. Be a passenger and let it take you wherever it wants.'

If it takes you to a place where you both decide you do want to have some type of sexual stimulation, go for it.

Otherwise, hold on to the stillness and intimacy, and enjoy the moment. Get used to being naked together and aroused together.

Do this once a week for a month or two and then take it further if you want to. This is a great technique for any couple to use, if you want to hit refresh and take sex back to basics again. Think of it as a sex detox as well as a gentle way to ease back into being erotic.

If you still find that you an your partner still need extra help to boost the libido then try the Tribulus herbal libido booster for female. Or if you are a man and need erection pills or libido booster for then try the MaxFuel herbal erection pills for male.

If you cant get a full erection then use a penis sleeve or a penis extender.

What is SENSATE FOCUS PROGRAM

Couples used to really like doing the Sensate Focus Program 'maybe because it gave them a break from the terrible sex they were having. Sensate Focus basically involves getting naked and taking turns caressing each other.

Non-erotic to start with, then moving on to include erogenous zones and the genitals. You advance slowly: progressing from non-sexual to sexual touching could take weeks or months, not days.

The concept is simple:

The person whose turn it is to touch focuses purely on doing just that. The recipient simply allows them to do it. The beauty of it, is that nobody had to worry about or take care of anyone else. You could relax.

Programs like Sensate Focus and Two-Step are really about mindfulness. Paying attention without judgement and being in the present moment. Something we find increasingly hard to do in today's technology-based world, but really should master.

When doing this session, it is recommended you use arousal oil to get extra stimulation. Arousal gel or oil such as Adam & Eve Sensitizer Gel or Swiss Navy Arousal Lubricant.

WHAT NEXT?
After you've worked through either the Two-Step Plan or Sensate Focus Program, work on breaking down the 'chasing dynamic'. Each of you take turns to initiate sensual touching. Each person initiates at least once a week or fortnight.


It doesn't matter how often, so long as initiation is shared and neither feels pressured or deprived. From there, move on to simultaneous touching-both touching each other sensually at the same time-then take the plunge, literally (if that's the aim), when ready. This might take weeks or months. No rush. Take your time.

Flip the Switch

As well as doing the physical exercises, work on changing your headspace. Instead of thinking I don't like sex anymore, think: How would I think if I was a woman or man who loves sex? Connect it to your identity.

Don't just have sex, be a deliciously erotic person who is curious and playful about sex.

Pose your problem to that person. Let them solve it. I wonder what it would take for me to go from someone who dreads sex to someone who wants to jump my partner's bones?'

How to get more sex

WHAT COULD MEN DO TO MAKE WOMEN WANT SEX MORE?

  • Spend more time being affectionate and attentive. I really love a good, relaxing massage and it will often lead to sex. I need to feel emotionally connected to want sex. It's not just a physical perfunctory thing.
  •  Middle-aged women often say they feel invisible and are no longer seen as sexually attractive. Anything that lets us know we still are, is important. I have several friends whose marriages have ended after the guy left them for a much younger woman.
  •  Women feel vulnerable. Listen more. As a woman gets older, there are so many
  • narratives in their heads. Menopause is a big factor. So is dealing with getting older. If you want to read more about how to deal with menopause then click here to read our previous article to living and continue to have sex during menopause.

Give more compliments. We're not getting as many as we used to. Any kind of positive reinforcement about our looks, our feelings, how attractive we are, really helps.

More romance. We need lots of stroking and teasing: stop going straight for my clitoris.

If the relationship out of bed is good, then there's a better chance of a great sex life.

Of course, we both also need foreplay, foreplay, foreplay.'

WHAT COULD WOMEN DO TO MAKE MEN WANT SEX MORE?

  • Reassure him it's not all about performance. It's about connecting on all sorts of levels and not just via intercourse.

Give them compliments. He's not as confident as he was.

Pay attention to their needs. Men, too, need to feel wanted.

  • Men need more emotional connection as they get older and get better at relationships.

You will never meet a man who didn't want sex. You will never meet a man who wasn't happy in bed with whatever he got.

Men also struggle with the reality of the physical change that comes with middle age and the waning of their sexual prowess.

Help him come to terms with an ageing penis and that it isn't the end of the world if he can't get erect.

9 min read


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