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November 24, 2020

Tips on pain during intercourse and using sex toys

At some stage in a woman’s life about 80 percent experience painful sex. This common issue can cause a lot of problems, but we can help you here.

Many women experiences pain at times, during intercourse. That big ouch feeling that every woman would know. It happens when he goes in too deep and it hit the cervix. Always a good idea to switch around and try something different or a different motion of thrusting. This is minor issue if it happens every now and then but if pain persist there is always other deeper problems. Never ignore it, you body sends messages to you telling you something is not quiet right here.

Especially when you are using sex toys like a dildo or vibrator. Mature vagina working differently then those who are still in their 20s or 30s. The vagina is less lubricated, and the walls are thinner. Always use extra lubricant and choose a natural ingredients lubricant.

Illustration of the internal of the female sexual organs

sex toy for mature woman

As your body is mature, we no longer required a large dildo or vibrator or a deep penetration, so we don’t need anything with length.

A bullet vibrator for the clitoral stimulation is a great start. There are many different brands and types of bullet on the market. You don’t want something with only one setting, you need something with at least 5 different settings of vibration.

A mature vagina needs to be gradually eased into arousal, when woman is still in their younger years they can go straight into penetration without foreplay. This is different when they are becoming older, it takes about 10 to 15 minutes to get the vagina ready for penetration. Remember that mature sex it different and need extra loving care.

Here are a few great bullet vibrators with many different vibration functions you can try:

  1. LELO LYLA Premium Bullet with remote control


  1. We Vibe Tango vibrator bullet with 8 vibration functions and rechargeable


  1. Zumio Clitoral Stimulation vibrator

If you are the ones that enjoys penetration to get you going then buy a smaller size dildo like this 5 Inch thin dildo with suction cup , this size it perfect for someone who can no longer handle penetration from a large size dildo.

All the above vibrator bullets are specially design for clitoral stimulation; it has many different settings that can be used for gradual stimulation.

Reason for pain during intercourse

Dyspareunia is one of the main causes of pain while having sex. Many factors can contribute to Dyspareunia but its important to know which pain is a good pain and which is a bad pain when it comes to sex or while using a sex toy or vibrator.

Never ignore the pain and think it will disappear. If any pain persist it is more serious hen you might think. If the pain makes you uncomfortable when it comes to sex, then it is a problem.

Always go and see your doctor is you are concern about any pain in your body. Remember this blog is only for general information. Your doctor is the medical professional can give you the right answer to any problems you might have.

Especially with the mature audience experience more pain during sex or while using sex toy then the younger counter parts.  As you get old your hormone level is not as high anymore, this can cause the vaginal walls to be thin and you are not as wet anymore.

The vaginal tunnel is now narrower, and it shrinks, it becomes less stretchy. Dry vagina can cause irritation and more prone to infections etc.

To read more about menopause, sex during menopause and mature sex. Click here to read our article.

Vaginal dryness

All mature woman will experience this during their lifetime, there are many articles online about this topic buy not many gives you a good solution. This is becoming a very big problems as the internet is available to woman as an open forum so more woman is talking about it and can post anonymously on public forum. Around 2/3 of woman try to get out sex because of vaginal dryness. Half of these woman in the surveys are woman’s over the age of 40.

The main concern is they feel that their partner is not happy, and it can cause tensions in relationship. Many women make up excuse for not having sex and about ¼ proceed with sex even though it hurts.

The problem will intensity with woman go into sexual activity without being fully aroused. It called Tense vaginal muscles; this will cause a lot of pain. A simple fix is to spend more time with foreplay, and you need to be relaxed. It’s hard for some woman to be relax because of previous experience with pain.  

There are cases of Vaginismus, this is a problem of tightening of the vagina that makes hard for intercourse. Then there are cases of pelvic-floor dysfunction, these are all the problems we cannot control. Click here to read more about pelvic floor

In extreme cases there might be deep problems like infections like yeast and STD can cause the vagina to be sore and not as healthy.

deal with painful sex

Always remember to see your doctor if you have any pain or any concerns about your body. The internet is for information only and does not provide any medical advice or solutions. Only a medical professional and diagnose and give correct medical advice.

If you have seen you doctor, and the pain is still there, always getting a second opinion elsewhere.

A quick consultation with a professional gynaecologist will save you a lot of headache.

Once you have your problem resolved physically, some woman and couple might still have the mental issues to resolve. Because of previous bad experience with the pain during sex, many couples still reluctant to try and have sexual intercourse or using sex toys.

If you are still having anxiety, then it’s worth to visit a sex therapist or a sex doctor. A good sex therapist will help you and your partner get back into sex very quickly. The main thing is to build the trust back, many men still think that their partner make up excuses for not having sex.


Personal lubricant is very important, always have a tube of premium lubricant available. Never try to have sex without any lubricant. Also try an arousal oil to give extra stimulation for the vagina, like the On Essential Stimulating Oil.

A good lube goes a long way, always use something like Four Season Passion lube with tingling or Wet Stuff all natural lube is great.

Another option is to use a vaginal moisturiser, there is no need to buy something fancy, just use coconut oil or even olive oil will do the trick. Just apply on the vagina wall before bed to keep it moist and lubricated.

If all fails, you need to talk to your partner about non intercourse sex. Oral sex is also very satisfying.

Other options also include:

  • Virginal stretch exercise. You can purchase a vaginal dilators kit online This kit has all the size you need for any vagina, made from high quality material and solid silicone for extra comfort.
  • There are claim that botox also work but this can be very expensive and intrusive.
  • Kegel balls is also a very good option and very effective and low cost. You can buy all the Kegel balls products here online. Click here to read more about Kegel exercise
  • Relax, try meditation before sex and practice breathing technique. Watch porn videos to get aroused.
  • Try different position and see which one works for you and your partner.

Get your body ready for sex

Many of us go through life with patches without sex or very little sex. Its very important that we continue to keep out vaginal or penis in good working condition.


Just like going to the gym to get our body fit, masturbate is exercise for your penis or vagina. You need to masturbate at least once a day. Buy a good male masturbator or a pocket pussy if you are a man and a good g spot vibrator or dildo if you are a woman.

The achieve regular orgasm you need to maintain the blood flow to your g spot and clitoris. You can achieve orgasm easier during intercourse if you keep constant orgasm with sex toys in between sexual partners.

If you are after something cheap then this reusable realistic pocket pussy masturbator can be bought here online for less then $20

Vaginal Relaxation and Vaginal Massage

Like mediation for your body and mind. Relaxing your vaginal is as important. It helps to stop the muscles from tensed up.

Your vagina is a group of muscles. Any muscles in your body needs a massage when its tense, just like your vaginal muscles if its tensed then it needs a massage. Both the inside of the vagina and the outside needs a good massage.

When doing vaginal massage always use a good lube or oil. Never give a vaginal massage dry. You only need to do a vaginal massage for 5 minutes is enough.

Use vibrator for vagina massage

For vaginal massage always look for a thin vibrator. You can buy a thin vibrator online here. When using a vibrator for vaginal massage, make sure its not too thick that stretch your vagina. Its different from using a vibrator for pleasure penetration, when using a vibrator for vaginal massage, you move it in a slow thrusting motion and rub it against the vaginal wall. Try to do this daily.

There is also option for oestrogen supplement. This can be provided by a doctor to help with all your problems.

You will know when you are ready for intercourse when you can fit a few fingers a large vibrator or large dildo, comfortably inside the vagina. Use plenty of premium silicone lube for extra smoothness.

There are always other factors that you might experience during sex, lubrication, can’t get an orgasm and or your partner have erection problems. These factors can lead to loss of desire for sex and loss of libido for both partners.

As you get older you need to plan with your partner about sex.

How to communicate with your partner about sex

Hopefully, they were with you in the appointment when you asked about the side effects. If they weren't, fill them in. Talk openly about how you feel about sex now—and let them know when you're ready to reconnect. Lots of partners won't initiate for fear of pushing you too soon. They're also worried your body has already been through so much, you might not want to do anything physical. Talk through any fears and let them reassure you. Give lots of feedback when you do start having sex again.


If fatigue is a problem, have low-effort sex where your partner takes over and you lie back and enjoy. Time it for the time of the day when you feel most energised.

If penetration hurts, don't do it. Sex isn't just about intercourse. Oral sex is still enjoyable. So is stroking, touching and using clitoral vibrators externally. Or use a male masturbator like a pocket pussy for him. You can purchase a pocket pussy online here for less then $20 or if you want something more realistic with vibration then buy a full size realistic ass and vagina masturbator like this Ultra Realistic Ass and Vagina Replica.

If your vagina is dry, use lube and talk to your doctor about an oestrogen ring or testosterone patch to regain vaginal elasticity. There is a huge range of premium lube you can buy online here.

If your vagina is too tight, dilator therapy can help. This involves inserting very slim dildos inside the vagina, increasing the size as you get more comfortable. There is a huge range of dildo you can buy online here to use for dilator therapy.

If it takes longer to be aroused, spend more time on foreplay. Schedule sex so you can prepare and arouse yourself beforehand.

Sex toys do most of the work for you both: use them. Vibration can also help break up scar tissue and increase blood flow. If you need to buy a vibrator online then click here for a huge range of high quality vibrator at affordable prices. Your sex toy vibrator will be discreet dispatch and wrapped in plain paper packaging so no one will know what’s inside.

Rediscover what now works and what doesn't. What did it for you before might not do it now?

If you're nervous, try having an orgasm solo before having one with your partner. This can be achieve very easily with a clitoral sucking and vibration vibrator like the Satisfyer Pro or the LELO Sona. These are the two most popular clitoral stimulation vibrator that mimics that oral sex feeling which gives you a quick and intense orgasm.

Think sensual rather than sexual. Sleep in the nude. Massage each other. Have a bath together.

9 min read

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