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December 24, 2021

What is pegging?

Why is pegging so popular?

How can I have the best pegging sex?

Why does being pegged feel good?

What do I need to peg someone?

How can I choose the right pegging harness?

Do you need to have pegging foreplay?


Anal pleasure seems to be very in vogue these days. Why shouldn't it be? After all, everyone has an anus and can enjoy anal pleasure. Another sexual trend that is all the rage right now is pegging. Swapping the traditional gender roles during sex seems to bring everyone pleasure! There is a lot to know before you can have the best pegging sex.


You'll know all the essential things by the end of this article. Like 

  • Why people enjoy pegging
  • How to talk to your partner about pegging
  • What kind of questions you need to ask about pegging
  • What materials you need for pegging
  • Pegging foreplay tips

You'll be all set to get started on your pegging adventure!

What is Pegging?

Pegging is the act of a (cisgendered) woman using a  strap-on harnessand dildo to penetrate a (cisgendered) male partner anally. 

This definition is the traditional one, and it will be the one we'll use today. But rest assured, no matter your genitalia, a dildo can anally penetrate anyone. And  anyone can wear a strap-on. 


Why is Pegging Popular?

Pegging might have been considered strange, faux pax, and taboo in the not-so-distant past. It is now an incredibly prominent practice. 

Why is it so popular?

The Prostate

One reason is that men have the  prostate. The prostate is similar to the  female g-spot. It can trigger an incredibly intense orgasm that produces ejaculation in many people.


You can reach the prostate with a finger, plug, vibrator, or dildo. Still, experimentation is key to finding exactly what you like best!


Easy Access

The most common position for pegging is doggy-style. This position means the dildo-wearer has easy access to the testicles, the perineum, and the penis. Having access to these sensitive areas can help to stimulate them simultaneously with thrusting.


This combo often leads to a life-altering pleasure experience that you're sure to try to replicate.


Break the Norms

Generally, when it comes to sex, men are the giver, and women are the receiver of penetration. With the man as the penetrator of the woman, the power dynamics are always to one side. T


With pegging, the  script is flipped. The female gets to savour the feeling of being in control of her partner. 


This power shift is also why pegging is prevalent in BDSM and kink groups. The power dynamic is super sexy and makes for an unforgettable time. 


The Power of Choice

You can choose any  dildo or  vibrating dildo that can fit into a harness! This freedom of choice allows for each pegging experience to be unique.


After all, you don't often get to choose the fallacy involved in sex! So take advantage! Variety is the spice of life. 


Vibrating dildos with rabbit arms or double ended dildos means that everyone can share the pleasure. 


Talking to your Partner About Pegging

Don't just walk into your partner's place swinging around a dildo declaring that you will peg them. Pegging involves conversations and informed consent. 

How to Bring up the Idea of Pegging

You should discuss this topic outside the bedroom. Being on neutral ground will make for a better balance in emotions and conversation. A few conversation starters are:

  • Go to an¬†¬†adult shop together. Point out the pegging gear, ask a sales associate to tell you about it, and then talk about it after leaving.
  • Watch the episode of Broad City where pegging is involved, then ask how your partner feels about that idea.
  • Open up an article on your phone that you came across about pegging (perhaps this one) and share it with your partner.

Who knows, maybe your partner will bring it up themselves! Be patient and remember that it should be a series of conversations rather than just one "okay."


Other Topics you Need to Talk About

Pegging isn't always the easiest thing to try. Especially if your partner is relatively new to anal play, some things you should discuss first are:

What do you both want from the experience?

Does your partner want to have a  prostate orgasm? Do they want to feel like you're the one in power? Are they just dying to see what all the fuss is about? Figure out what you're both hoping for to put your attention on the right areas. 

What positions do you want to try?

There are dozens of different positions that range from novice to expert. Which ones are appealing to both of you? Should you do any stretching before?

Make a plan

Making a plan will help you be prepared for anything. Choose the materials and data together so that you're both equally involved. Also, remember that this should be a fun and sexy experience that you share! So make it a fun time for both of you.



Pegging Set up & Tools

You only need a few things to try pegging. First, it is essential that the person being penetrated anally is ready for a full dildo. If this is their first time, please read this anal 101 series here:

Once you're well-versed, then you need a few materials:

Harnesses come in a wide variety of styles for you to choose from. You can read our full article on how to select a harness here. But some of our favourites are the  Scandal corset universal harness and the  Ingen easy strap on harness-.

When it comes to choosing a dildo, you may be hard pressed to make a decision. That's why certified sexologist,  Elaine S. Turner, wrote this series on selecting the perfect dildo here:

But, to be safe, start with something small. Focus on body-safe and non-porous materials like  this one here by Fun Factory. 


Again, when it comes to lubricants, you'll be spoiled for choice. 

Any water-based lube is going to be your safest bet. 

Why? 

Because you can't use a silicone-based lubricant with any toys that contain silicone. Doing this will cause the toy to break down and fall apart. 

So, to be safe, try a water-based lubricant like H20 Anal by JO.

Pegging Foreplay

When you're ready and have all your gear laid out for your first pegging session, bring on the foreplay! Getting the bottom relaxed and erotically aroused is critical for making this a fun experience.

These are our top tips for getting anally aroused.

Set the scene - pegging is an erotic experimentation experience just like any other. Take time to light some candles, start a sexy playlist, and tease each other. 

Start with standard kissing and body massage - if you already know how to get your partner turned on, go through your typical steps. This familiar territory will help them get more relaxed and turned on. 

Warm up the outer sphincter with your tongue or vibrator - the external sphincter is packed with super-sensitive nerve endings that love to be licked, tickled and vibed on. So use this to your advantage and to get the anus to relax!

Don't forget about the genitals - especially if you're getting ready to penetrate them for the first time. Make sure you're stroking their genitals in a way you typically pleasure them. This will help their brain form neural connections between erotic pleasure and anal penetration.

Before you go with the dildo, send your fingers in first - starting the anal play with your fingers will help them relax and get in the mood. It will also teach you all about where you'll be navigating shortly!

Go slow, then slower - Taking things slowly will not only make the experience more comfortable for the bottom, but it will help build up erotic anticipation

Be ready for the cleanup - Put down some sheets or a towel you don't care about. Have some wet wipes on hand and understand that accidents happen. Doing all of this means that you'll be prepared for anything.


Those are our tips for how to have the best pegging sex! If you want help choosing your pegging materials, stop by one of our  three locations in  West Ryde,  Wagga Wagga, or  Penrith.

 

Get out there, Get in there, and Get off there!

Elaine S. Turner

Certified Sex & Relationship Coach | Certified Clinical Sexologist

www.SexWithElaine.com

@SexWithElaine

6 min read


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