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April 24, 2020

How important is foreplay? | Do I need sex toy during foreplay?

70% of woman said that they cannot reach climax without foreplay. Our Sexpert will tell you the value of foreplay. 

In the West, we tend to view foreplay as the warm-up before intercourse, whereas in many Asian cultures it has traditionally been regarded as a complete and whole part of the sexual experience. I agree with the Asian view, and that is why I prefer to use the term “loveplay” rather than “foreplay." Foreplay implies activities that are only a lead-up to something else either intercourse and/or orgasm-rather than activities that fully engage the participants in the here and now. When love is present and you are experiencing the continuum of moment-to-moment pleasure and surrendering to the moment, there is no future to look forward to or past to reflect upon. 

It is valuable during any act of love to remain completely and utterly in the present. One of the differences between making love and having sex is thought. If you are thinking, then you are not totally present and neither love. Indulge in the actual physical sensations you experience in your body the moment that they happen. The greatest stimulation the body can receive is love. 

Erotic possibilities outside intercourse include kissing and caressing, erotic massage, use of sex use such as vibrators, anal plugs, nipples clams and mutual masturbation or oral sex, as well as sexual games and fetish play. If you increase your sexual options, you will heighten your sexual response, enhance desire and passion, and deepen the intimacy between you and your lover. 

Love play also introduces change and variety into lovemaking and prevents sex from becoming a routine, which can be a destructive factor in a relationship. It encourages lovers to discuss and experiment and to lose inhibitions and presents them with ideas they may not have thought of before. By engaging in more lengthy erotic give-and-take, without the goal of orgasm, levels of sexual excitement can expand, grow, and widen. 

When you can appreciate sex and loving as an act of worship, you will know that kissing, touching, and caressing are all essential to the worship ritual. By touching. and caressing each other you stay in touch with yourself and your lover. Through the caress, energy flows in and through our bodies, and keeps us alive, awake, appreciative, and grateful. 

Massage oil and Finger vibrator

Caressing can be a gentle touching with the hands and fingers, perhaps accompanied by oils or creams. It can also consist of stroking, kissing, nuzzling, and licking with the lips and tongue. With the aid of a warm massage oil or lubeduring foreplay intensify the pleasure and increase stimulation.

Or it can be accomplished through using the breath or a part of the anatomy-breasts or nipples, even toes or feet-to stroke your lover's body It could even consist of rubbing entire bodies together, and it can be just as intimate when fully clothed as by meeting flesh with flesh. Its always recommended to use a finger vibrator set to low settings just enough to enhance the stimulation but not strong enough to make your partner climax. This finger vibe is one of the most popular for foreplay 'Fantasy for Her Finger Vibe'



It does not necessarily follow that sexual expertise ensures good lovemaking, and a sexual technician is not necessarily a good lover. Essential components of good lovemaking include compatibility between lovers and a similar and shared degree of commitment-whether for a night or for a lifetime. Another component is confidence: in yourself, which ultimately produces confidence in your lover and sensitivity to his or her moods and reactions. However, the most potent component of all is love. 

Successful love play really must be experienced as a time of mutual erotic pleasure or supreme worship, not a chore that must be performed in order to get to intercourse. And the sense of gently controlling and relishing your lover's enjoyment will extend and intensify your own pleasure. Of course, there will be times when a couple are both so aroused when they begin to make love that the woman wants her lover to enter her immediately. Sometimes nothing can be more exciting than this can’t wait" lovemaking, but arousal is usually a much slower process, particularly for a woman. 

The rule for pleasing is very simple don't force your lover to do anything that he or she finds distasteful or uncomfortable. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want or to ask your lover what he or she wants. Nobody is expected to have complete insight into someone else's desires, so communicate with one another and tell each other what gives you pleasure and what you find uncomfortable.  

Man and woman are, in many ways, mysteries to one another, but how each obtains optimum sexual joy need not be a secret. You can unlock this mystery with communication, practice, and love, which are the keys to lasting sexual happiness with your partner. 

BEAR IN MIND... The erogenous zones that play a crucial part in good love play are highly individual. What your ex-lover enjoyed may be very different to what your present lover loves. Explore your lover's body everywhere, every nook and cranny-to find out what turns him or her on. It is well worth the time and effort if it means a more exciting and erotic experience for both of you. 

Using Douche and Enema cleaner before play

Also, the value of personal cleanliness cannot be stressed enough. The anus, for example, is an extremely erotic area of the body-but only when it is completely clean and hygienic. This is where people purchase douche and enema cleaner. It’s a product you can purchase from here to flush out your rectum or vagina, it cleans and deodorize the area. Check out the huge range of douche cleaner and enema cleaners here. If you are not sure which product to choose there is also a guide on how to choose a douche and enema cleaner here.

You want to be able to explore, kiss, lick, squeeze, rub, and probe every part of each other's body without the slightest concern over hygiene, otherwise your lovemaking will be inhibited even before it starts. 

Anal play has been a new norm in foreplay. It was once considered as a ‘gay’ thing. Pegging, prostate massager used anal play has been practicing in about 60% of straight couples. This is where a female wears a strap on with a attached thin dildo and penetrate her man in the anus. Remember to always use a premium anal lubricant as the rectum muscle does not stretch as well as the vagina.

Both men and women enjoys anal play. Adult toys such as anal plug, butt plug, vibrating prostate massagers is a very popular choice of tool to start exploring into anal play.

The use of words, and sounds, during love play and lovemaking can contribute greatly to your lover's arousal. Talking also can bring an element of fun into love play, and if you can remain sensitive to each other's needs, you can interpret your lover’s reactions, helping to dispel inhibitions and creating a mood of relaxation. 

Biting has its place in love play, as does nipping, slapping, and scratching. Depending on your mood and what you like, a degree of pain can be exciting but is usually best confined to the less sensitive areas of the body. This is where couples introduce fetish play and fetish sex toys such as whips, collars, cuffs, mask, restraints. We have a whole article on Fetish Play, its a 10 part series, click here for part 1

Next, we will discuss the erogenous zones, those parts of the body that respond particularly well to a lover’s attention and tell you what attention to apply. As a prelude, you can dwell on the following: The biggest erogenous zone of the body is the mind, and there's nothing more stimulating than anticipation. 


  1. Take your time. 
  2. Relax into it. 
  3. Savor every moment. 
  4. Try a relaxed, leisurely massage for a gentle turn-on. 
  5. Touching hair and skin creates an intimate atmosphere. 
  6. WhoIe-body hugs generate warmth and a sense of reassurance. 
  7. Lingering kisses and gentle nibbling of the earlobes are sure to arouse. 
  8. Both sexes enjoy having their nipples gently caressed, licked, and sucked. 9. A man will experience intense pleasure if you squeeze and stroke his prick while he watches. 
  1. A woman will enjoy having her pubic area stroked and her clitoris stimulated before any deeper exploration begins. 
  2. Use an aromatic massage oil with aphrodisiac ingredients like the WildFire massage oil and clitoral arousal oil 

 If you are not sure what sex toy to bring into your foreplay next time then click here for our guides to sex toys, everything you need to know about sex toys and how and where to use it is here.

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