Impact Play 101.

From a cheeky smack on the butt between lovers to full on flogging it's super important to have a good understanding of the mechanics of impact play before diving into it! What type of sensations are out there? What are the differences in impact play tools? Should there be pain involved?? What does aftercare look like? Let's find out. 

How much pain are we talking about???

Not too sure about pain in the bedroom? Fret not. Like all good things, impact play exists on a spectrum. You can totally practice it in a way that you’ll feel it when you go to sit down in the near future - but there’s no rule that says that's how it has to be. Honestly based on all the anecdotes and experience I’ve had, more often than not it's on the low/non existent end of the pain spectrum. For a lot of people it's more about the idea. The power dynamic; the trust, heck even the sound rather than any major pain.So what's the point if you’re not getting off on the pain?? Spanking draws a whole bunch of blood to the area getting spanked, even if it's relatively gentle, which feels nice and makes you more sensitive to other stimulation.

Thuddy vs Stingy 

Not all impact sensations are created equal. Speaking quite broadly, impact sensations can be split into two sensory categories: Thuddy sensations usually come from a wacky thing that is sturdier and covers more surface area at once (think paddles: more on that later). While Stingy sensations feel sharper in the sense that the force of the hit is channeled into a tool with a smaller surface area (think canes: again more on that later). Again this is a super broad summary to give you something of an idea of what's out there. In practice it can be a bit more nuanced: what I think might be different to what you think - everyone's pain tolerance is different. 

Floggers and paddles and canes - Oh My!

Now that we’ve established the type of sensations we’re working with, which tools achieve what? Unfortunately, like all good things; once again it's complicated. I’d say there are three main categories of toys (not including the au natural impact tools AKA: your hands)

Floggers

• Generally speaking these look like a stick with dangly bits attached to one end. These dangly bits can be made of all kinds of material; from soft fur to leather to straight up metal chains. All producing a different level of sensation. 

• Anything you get in any kind of BDSM beginners kit should definitely fall onto the softer side of the spectrum.

Paddles

• Usually something vaguely rectangular shaped (definitely not always but again we’re speaking broadly)

• Beginner ones tend to be very swishy/soft- ish materials that provide a very satisfying smacking sound but pretty minimal pain

• More intermediate options tend to be made a lot more firm/sturdy 

• I saw one truly evil paddle once that someone had embedded LEGO pieces into. I shudder to think of what that would feel like on a butt cheek. 

Canes/crops

• I’d definitely put canes on the end of the spectrum that requires a bit of practice - these can do some damage. 

• Canes are one single straight tool, that's typically pretty thin and swishy.

• • This means that the force you use to hit someone with is concentrated into one very small surface area.

• Crops are structurally very similar to a cane but the bit you’re supposed to be hitting within the bit of leather on the end of the stick. Like everything else some of these can be quite firm (ouchie) or more swishy (less ouchie) 

• • For example; this one: the loop of leather is more designed to make a really satisfying sound but minimal pain.

• I’d still classify it as something that requires some practice though since you need to have a pretty decent aim. If you overshoot the end of the crop you're essentially hitting someone with a cane. Which might be more of an ouch than they were banking on.

Where are we hitting?

The more padding, the better here. (A total win for those of us with thick thighs)

Butt cheeks are the safest bet. You’ve got a good target- really anywhere on the cheek is going to be a good bet, however if you want to try aiming for one specific point; try aiming from the bottom of the cheek up and inwards kinda. It's good practice to try and direct blood flow towards the genitals; because it makes you more sensitive. Thank me later. 

Other popular locations include the back/chest. Generally this is done with a tool like a flogger. Again the goal is to encourage blood flow to the skin (that's the lovely rosey colour you’ll see after a good spanking) to make everything more sensitive. Harsher tools like a cane or paddle are totally an option for locations other than the butt but proceed with caution since they can hurt a bit more than you might have bargained for, and you have less padding than you have on a butt. 

How hard are we hitting?

Worried about being smacked too hard/smacking too hard, but not sure how to communicate that to a partner and potentially ruin the vibe? I have bad news for the conflict averse people pleasers (me af) you do have to speak up about these things, but never fear there are ways to make it sexy!

1. First of all, it's important to understand the tools you may be using. That means that whoever is doing the whacking should do some practice swings on themselves. You’re less likely to accidentally hurt the person being whacked by being too enthusiastic with a cane if you’ve given it a crack yourself.

2. Give it a practice run before things get hot and heavy. If you’re using a paddle or something similar, have person A do maybe 5 practice smacks of varying intensities and person B can rate them on a scale of 1-10. That will give you both a better idea of how much force to use/how much force you might like. 

3. Traffic light system, a super easy to remember system you can use while things are hot and heavy that doesn’t take away from the momentum of the moment (in my opinion it can even add to it)

• • Essentially one partner can ask the other what colour they are; and you can respond with greenas in: I'm good keep going, yellow as in: I'm not sure can we slow down, or red as in: I'm not having a good time we need to stop right now.
  • This can be applied for anyone in any power role, and is a nice was to quickly take yourself out of a scene for a split second to check in, that doesn't fully interrupt what you're doing. 

Aftercare

We have a whole blog post that goes into depth on aftercare which you can check here.Aftercare after impact play is going to look depending on the people involved and how intense you went with it. A few relatively gentle smacks with a hand can typically be handled pretty differently than a super heavy duty session with a cane. Here's some general guidelines:

• Cuddles and words of affirmation

  • “You took that so well, I’m so proud of you”

  • “That felt so good, thank you”

• Ice packs/ cool compress

  • A good spanking leaves a bum feeling very hot, it can be nice to cool everything down afterwards.

• Gentle massage with lotion 

• • After a bit of rough treatment it can be nice to give the spanked bits some tender loving. 

  • Try and stick to non-irritating lotions (think scentless/gentle)

  • If you’re really worried about bruising/swelling you could always use an arnica cream. 

• Proper care and first aid if we played hard enough to draw blood.

• • Clean everything with soap and water, and keep everything clean and dry.

In Conclusion 

Writing conclusions for these is always hard. Go forth and spank each other. idk