Glass Toys 101

In the last 30 000 ish years that humans have been making dildos (if you don’t believe they’re that old read this) we’ve made them out of almost any and all sturdy material you can imagine. Including and not limited to: stone, wood, metal, any vaguely phallic vegetable and in some cases breadsticks. (Please don’t do that; think of the yeast infection)

Probably the material that I see causes the most pause and confusion in store however is glass. Which makes sense. Most people think of glass and the first thing that comes to mind is its famous fragility. Which does not inspire confidence when considering what object you most want to put inside yourself. 

But I SWEAR they are way sturdier than you would think. Without going too deep into the  chemistry of glass making, glass sex toys are made ofborosilicate glass which has silica and boron trioxide which makes it significantly stronger than normal glass. It’s also far more tolerant of sudden temperature changes than regular glass. It's basically like Pyrex but even sturdier because sex toys are thicker and more solid than kitchenware. 

I cannot emphasise enough that it's important to use glass objects specifically intended for use as a sex toy. Do not be tempted by the novelty souvenir bottle shaped like a penis or anything similar. Regular glass is not the same as sex toy glass and could shatter inside you. Sex toy glass will not shatter inside you.

I won’t lie, I’m not saying they’re indestructible. But I’ve only ever (rarely) heard them chip or break from landing on solid concrete or if you were throwing them full force at a brick wall. So just...don’t do that and you’ll be fine. 

Normal bumps and falls in a bedroom or anywhere else in your home will be fine. (Yes even tiles — honestly I’d be more worried about it chipping your tiles than anything else)

If (somehow) you manage to scratch or chip the toys I would recommend decommissioning it from bedroom activities. Imperfections in the surface can provide crevices where bacteria can grow, plus it can compromise the integrity. But again I stress this is super unlikely  to happen.

The benefits of glass

Temperature

Because these toys are tolerant of temperature changes you can really use that to your advantage and change the temperature of them when you want to use them. 

• Want things to get hotter in the bedroom in a literal sense? Warm up the toy in warm water.

• Be conscientious ofhow hot it is. Don’t use boiling water. Test the temperature on the inside of your wrist and keep in mind that wherever you may be inserting it is more sensitive than any other area of the body, so you really don’t need to overdo it with temperature. 

• Want it colder? (Edward Cullen-core)

• You might be tempted to keep it in the freezer and pull it out at the last possible moment to make it as cold as possible.Don’t. There is such a thing as too cold and you can get frostbite on your bits. Or if you use something ice cold and totally dry; it can stick to your very delicate moist tissue. 

Are you picking up what I’m putting down here?

• You can keep it in the fridge or do the same trick as warming it by keeping it in a container of ice water. 

Hot or cold — if you do use water to change the temperature; remember that water is a terrible lubricant. The best thing to do is get to the temp you’re after and then dry it off completely with a towel. Then you can add whatever lube you’d like and go nuts

Hypoallergenic 

• While modern high quality sex toys are all made of body safe materials as opposed to what they were in times gone by, there is still a quality spectrum that many people might find they don’t react well with. You don’t have that issue with glass, it's totally hypoallergenic meaning the toys pose no risk of reaction!

Longevity 

• Even the most high quality silicone will eventually start to degrade, and electronic sex toys are notoriously difficult to recycle. Not with glass though, unless you are in the habit of actively trying to smash them, they won’t break down or degrade so you can keep them for your whole life. Heck you could get buried with them and give future archaeologists something fun to dig up. 

Cleaning 

• They’re super easy to clean and sterilise. Honestly you can pop them in the dishwasher if you want to be especially thorough. Though I wouldn’t advise this if you live with people. Your housemate might not appreciate seeing a glass plug next to the mugs. 

Miscellaneous Pros

• Glass plugs and dilators make especially good toys for getting into anal play. They’re super smooth and glide easily, similar to stainless steel. 

• Across the board glass toys are rock solid have a really satisfying weight to them that feels incredible internally (source: trust me bro)

• Huge variety in texture options: you want flawlessly smooth? Glass toys have you sorted, you want ridges, bumps and curves? Again there's a toy for that. 

Historical glass dildos

Glass dildos have actually been made since as early as the 16th century. Glassblowers (a fitting name) in Venice made Italian Stallions that became all the rage all over Europe. I’m sure someone is still making them there and I can tell you that's at the top of my list for souvenirs I want when I can afford a Hot Girl Euro Summer.

Glass toys at Funtasia 

This is all to say; we just got in a huge new range of glass toys you should totally check out here.

Funtasia Sexpert and Fan of the Edward Cullen Experience

Verin Sampson