Beginner to BDSM Submissive PART 3

Beginner to BDSM Submissive PART 3

Get to Know Your Mistress or Master

Mistresses and Masters are selective about the submissive they choose to dominate. Likewise, it's your job to evaluate each master or mistress you wish to serve. Suppose the Dominant is younger or still somewhat inexperienced. In that case, a good submissive will find a diplomatic way to rub off his or her knowledge.

Key Learning Points for a submissive/slave 

While it is your job to stay in your place as a submissive, there are many things you can do to ease the burden of your Dom while still pleasing them as well.

Communication is Key

Remember, as the sub, you're the one that is really in control. That means it is up to you to speak up during scene discussions and talk about what you like, what you'd like to try, and what isn't working well for you.

If you think punishments are too extreme or not extreme enough, tell your Dom! They want to please you just as much as you want to please them. It will also take a lot of pressure off the both of you, allowing the relationship to bloom.

Learning From Each Other

If your Dom is thoroughly capable, your job is to watch, listen, speak only when spoken to, and obey instructions. Focus on all the kinks and activities that your teacher loves. 

If, as a submissive, you have more experience in the dungeon, then you can subtly help your Dom learn. The teacher can learn from the student. This can also be referred to as "topping from the bottom."

The easiest way to excel in this area without asking too many questions and risking being punished by starting your D/s relationship with a specificlimits list. A good sub will read through these lists regularly and make sure they are thoroughly satisfying their Dom.

Your Dom is a Human, Too

Know your Dom's or Domme's moods. Consider their passions and their limits. Being aware of their per peeves and remember what they like. Keeping a submissive diary can help this, especially if you're engaging in play regularly with multiple Doms.

This awareness is one mark of an excellent submissive. In return, you will have their heart, and they may even reward you for being so diligent.

Take Matters Into Your Own Hands

Being a true Dominant is a lot of work.

Suppose you can tell that your Dominant is overwhelmed or struggling for scene ideas. In that case, you can try and inspire them by adding your flair to activities during scene discussions. 

Recheck your list and see what they're interested in trying or see where their bondage tool kit is lacking. 

Adding new and exciting items to your arsenal of bondage toys can spice things quickly and help them with inspiration. 

If you're looking for some new toys, you can check out our selections ofbondage kits,cuffs,paddles, andgags to liven things up. 

Brattiness

Many Doms have a strict preference for whether or not they'll abide bybrattiness from their subs.

Suppose you're usually well mannered and don't put up a fight. In that case, you can try stepping outside the lines, providing your Dom with the opportunity to punish you as they see fit.

This can become a scene in and of itself, allowing your Dom to take a break from their hard work and putting more power into your hands.

***Pro-Tip*** Make sure you're aware of the punishments that your Dom will use on you before you decide to be bratty in a scene. You may warn your Dom and renegotiate what tactics they'll use on this special occasion. 

Taking Pride in BDSM 

A good submissive is almost always a proud submissive. By this, we don't mean you show off a wallet size photo of your leather-clad dominatrix to all of your friends at work. Discretion is always an essential aspect of BDSM. However, if you're both comfortable in your roles and relationship, try taking things to the next level.

You can go to aMunch together if you're not already a part of a community or you're looking to join a new one. Going to a munch and allowing your relationship to be seen by others can not only be arousing but freeing. Often, those in the scene feel like they don't get to be open and honest very often. This can feel isolating and almost invalidating to your BDSM relationship.

You'll get to show off how obedient you are in a casual setting which can be a significant source of pride to your Dom.

This may even lead to you both getting invited to a play party where you can show who you are and how much you adore being Dominated. You both deserve to feel proud of your relationship as well as your roles.

In general, we suggested that within your discreet relationship with your Dom, you are comfortable submitting. You shouldn't harbour guilt about being physically, emotionally and sexually Dominated, and you should take pride in your ability to serve and please. 

Remember, your master may reward you for all your effort. 

Do and Don't in BDSM

Do–Carry yourself with dignity.

Don't– Confuse pride and brattiness with cockiness. 

Do – Communicate your limits clearly

Don't – Be afraid to test your limits with proper prior communication

What are Excellent BDSM submissive Traits?

An excellent submissive knows their limits and how to confirm, politely, those limits with their Dom.

• Insist on filling out your limits list, and discuss things thoroughly before you engage in a D/s relationship
• Discuss punishments that your Dom will use and the aftercare that your Dom will provide
• Inform your Dom if you have anything that may be a health concern, such as an old injury, poor circulation, or anything that may impact your play together
• Communicate your level of discretion, let them know where you may be willing to have lasting bruising or marks versus where you are not
• Don't be afraid to say "no." If certain behaviours are abhorrent to you, such as public humiliation or same-sex activities, stick to your guns and say "no." 

An excellent submissive, like a good Dom, understand the parameters are essential. Those limits should be tested and adjusted with each session, so the relationship doesn't become stale. 

Remember, if you have a deep fetish, tell them! Many Doms love eagerness and are happy to oblige. You both deserve to get exactly what you want from your relationship.

We all love a challenge. If you want to know more about BDSM, click here tocontact us to speak to our Sexologist, Elaine Turner. Elaine is a clinical Sexologist and Educator who can answer all your queries.

Elaine works in Funtasia Adult Shop and also provides sexuality classes through her website,Sex with Elaine. 

Dominatrix must-have tools. These are tools for beginners into Fetish, Bondage, BDSM.